H is for Humour
H is the eighth letter of English alphabet. It is the first letter of many interesting words (some of them with a silent H) — like happiness, honour, honesty, humility, hospitality, harmony, health, hope, etc.
But the word that appeals to me most is humour. All my posts in this series have been about developing a strength or a habit of a “serious” nature, so I wanted to choose an aspect that is often neglected but plays an important role in mental health and emotional maturity.
In my opinion, humour is an essential element of every relationship. If inserted well, it instantly makes you likeable, and builds an element of trust. It also lightens a tense environment, and makes a relationship stronger. When people are asked what’s important in their lives, they often mention humour. Couples listing the traits they value in their spouses usually put “sense of humour” near the top. Who hasn’t heard the famous saying, “Laughter is the best medicine.” This is the belief that has spawned so many laugher clubs across the world. In India, it is a common sight to see groups of people (mostly middle-aged to senior age profiles) getting together in a park to share a laugh with one another. Often this laugh starts off as a forced effort, but is so contagious that within a few seconds everyone, including by-standers, is laughing out loudly.
Some researchers have classified humour into four broad categories: Affiliative, Self-Enhancing, Aggressive, and Self-Defeating. Affiliative humour means cracking jokes, engaging in banter, and otherwise using humour to make others like us. Self-enhancing humour is an optimistic, coping humour, characterized by the ability to laugh at yourself or at the absurdity of a situation and feel better as a result. Aggressive humour is characterized by sarcasm, teasing, criticism, and ridicule. Self-defeating humour is attempting to get others to like us by putting ourselves down. It’s important to note that the lines between humour styles aren’t hard and fast, however, nor are the categories mutually exclusive — everyone’s individual sense of humour is a unique combination of all four styles.
My personal favourite is the Self-enhancing humour, which elevates your state of mind and makes you feel better instantly, while also making those around you laugh. It helps to remove barriers and lower inhibitions. But it takes a great deal of maturity and confidence to be able to laugh at oneself, and not feel embarassed.
Some people have a natural knack for humour, and are able to come up with a wisecrack in every situation. But most artists and creative geniuses who create comedies, or write witty or satirical poetry, actually apply a lot of serious mental energy to come up with their outputs. Even film-makers claim that it is more difficult to make a funny film or enact a funny scene, than a serious scene.
The capacity to express or perceive what’s funny, humour, is both a source of entertainment and a means of coping with difficult or awkward situations and stressful events. Although it provokes laughter, humour can be serious business. From its most lighthearted forms to its more absurd ones, humour can play an instrumental role in forming social bonds, releasing tension, or attracting a mate. Humour can be used to diffuse conflict. A well-timed quip in the middle of a heated argument can relieve tension.
There is a dark side to humour, however. When it is hostile, antagonistic, degrading, or displays a sense of superiority, an attempt at humor can divide people rather than bring them closer together. Of course, the shortcomings and imperfections of others — and oneself — have long been fodder for comedians.
Let me know what you think, and let’s exchange some thoughts in good “humour”. As Charlie Chaplin said, ”A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
