Stay busy even when you are unemployed

Last week I met a friend for coffee. We were meeting after a while because he was working in another country and has recently moved back.

I knew that he had moved back to be with his family and is looking for a new job in India. He quit his job in the other country because he was not enjoying it, he was living away from his wife and daughter, and the unhappy situation was affecting his mental wellness.

When I met him he looked visibly unhappy and seemed to have put on some weight. As we picked up our coffees and sat down to chat in a small coffee shop in Gurgaon, he opened up about his situation.

He was desperately in need of a job. He told me that he was spending all his time applying for jobs, talking to people about his hopeless situation and just mailing his CV to whoever he could think of.

In 4 weeks of doing this, he had landed himself only one interview. The interview went well and he gave detailed answers to all the questions about his area of expertise, including detailed project plans, to the interviewer. He came back feeling good about his performance but two days later they sent him a polite mail saying that he was not being hired and will be kept in consideration for future requirements. He felt angry and cheated because he realised that they only wanted his information and had no intention of hiring him.

He had been on an emotional roller coaster and did not know what to do. In the process he had started ignoring his health – eating junk food and not doing any exercise, he had become irritable – snapping at his wife and daughter for no fault of theirs and generally lazing around watching news TV.

He considers me a trusted friend and directly asked me to help him find a job. Here’s what I told him:

1. Don’t overdo your job search.
2. Don’t let people know that you are desperate for a job. You will only undermine your value in their eyes.
3. Do other things that are good for you.
4. Treat everyday like a working day – get up, take a shower and get ready with shoes on your feet by 9.00 am like you would if you had a job.
5. Spend the most productive part of the day doing some creative work. He has deep experience in one particular area and he told me that he could write a book on it. I suggested that he start by writing an article a day and post it on LinkedIn. This would attract attention to his profile and may even lead to a job. If he does it consistently it will establish him as an expert and build his personal brand.
6. He should spend a good amount of time networking with people and offering to help them instead of asking every contact to help him find a job. He will feel better about himself and build a stronger network if he is seen as someone who helps people. Some of them may actually help him get a job later on if he doesn’t come across as a job seeker all the time.
7. He should get himself listed as an expert on portals for freelancers and start taking on part time or freelance assignments. I gave him the names of some such platforms that could help him get work for his area of expertise. He could look for more of those and even look at finding freelance work offline by attending events or meeting consultants.
8. He should just spend an hour or so looking for jobs everyday. Needless to say, he must respond to emails or calls that he gets for jobs. At his age , it is difficult to find a regular job in India especially in a depressed economic environment.
9. I told him to spend 8 hours of the day doing all of these things and then switch off from his job search and spend some happy time with the family.
10. I also told him to look after his health and fitness by keeping a regular schedule and eating healthy. He should also spend time on his hobbies and interests and maintain an active social life like he would if he had a job.
11. Above all, I asked him to keep his faith, stay positive, indulge in positive self talk and affirmations and believe that good things are in store for him.

I am not sure how much of my advice he will follow. He did say that this gave him a new perspective and asked me to watch out for his articles on LinkedIn.

I am sure that if he does even a few of these things, the least that will happen is that he will develop a positive outlook, feel good about himself, and that itself will lead to a better state of mind and happiness.

I am going to keep in touch with him to see how he does, and will write again, hopefully with better news.